ReallyReally.net

Last night I had one of the biggest shocks of my life. Jason was involved in a motorbike accident and it really shook me up.

Basically Jason was going to squash at about 4pm so he left here at about 3.55pm. At about 4.30pm I got a call from one of the guys that he plays squash with and he asked where Jason was I told him that he was on his way and should be there in about 2 minutes. Was a bit concerned but I just started to pray that my husband was alright and that he was safe.

At about 4.50pm my husband rang and the first thing that he said was that he was alright, at first I was like OK he must just be ringing to say that he is at squash well I then asked him where he was and he just kept saying I am alright. I just knew he had had an accident. I was in shock. I immediately stated to want to cry and got really panicky. My husband knowing I am a worrier. Just said calm down I am alright.

I quickly got the kids into the car and raced off to where he was. As I was driving along I was thinking about everything I love about my husband and would miss if he died. I realized that two of my biggest complaints where the things I would always regret pulling him up on. And they were wait for it. Farting in bed at night and snoring. Now dont get me wrong I will still tell him off for it but they were the things I missed.

As soon as I saw my husband I was amazed and in awe that he was still walking and was ok. I realized yesterday how much I loved him. He was more concerned about me at that time as I am pregnant which was really sweet.

It is incredible that he didn’t get killed. The bike is a right off and unfortunately it wasn’t insured. The people who hit him are in the wrong but the police have to prove that. All the witness to this point other than the womans husband are saying that it was their fault. I am playful that their insurance will cover our bike if not God will provide.

I was a tad stressed about the whole process but I am going to put it behind me. We will find out from the police in 2-3 weeks who was at fault and what will happen. I know God is in control about the whole thing and I will let go.

I still cant believe how blessed I am to have my husband alive and well although he has a broken arm he is although wise totally well.

Thank you Lord for your protection.

Today I had my 28 week scan as the hospital was a tad concerned that my baby was undersize also they wanted to check my cervix to see if I had dialated at all.

As I expected everything was perfect. As soon as she turned on the scan it was 4D it was amazing. My little bubby had their hands right over the side of their head just like my other three. I had never had such a scan before and was amazed at the perfectness of this little bubs. They are currently weighing 3 lb and are in the perfect size range for the age. Lovely long legs and a perfect face. I am very bias but my babies are the cutest.lol

She asked me if I wanted to know the sex and I said No as daddy doesn’t want to know as he thinks that is fair as we didn’t find out with the others. I am happy not to know actually but I will blame dad. Anyway she started to say well you might want to close your eyes when all of a sudden bubs moves closes their legs and they are obeying dad already.

The cervix scan was a tad different. They insert a device that goes inside and has a good look. As I have a tendency to have early babies this pregnancy is looking fantastic. No contractions during the scan when the last scans I had with my other bubs showed up heaps also the cervix was fully closed and that it was right where it was meant to be.

It was so amazingly real. I am going to have my baby soon. 11.5weeks and I am going to have my little bubs. I am going to start getting the rest of the stuff organised now and prepare for my baby.

God bless

Isn’t that the incredible thing my husband finally is getting over his depression but I feel angry hurt and just plain ANGRY. I suppose while he was going through the depression I was the one coping with the day to day running of everything and the totally fallout that depression brings.

My husband got depressed on our honeymoon. And if I look back I should have seen that he wasn’t sleeping but I thought that it would fix it self and it didn’t and we were on the rollacooster for over 5 years after that. I wish someone had said something about sleep. I am so angry at myself for letting my husband down. For not making him happy.

My hsuband I know loves me but I do doubt him wanting to be with me. Since he has come out the depression he has been more loving more kind but I get this overwhelming feeling that I have caused this. Why do I feel this way it is not my fault how could I have known this when even the trained professionals didn’t?

I am starting to get my joy back but I am also starting to realise how much of blessing his depression was. We have never been more real or solidly based in our lives. We dont believe alot of the pie in the sky ideals and we know how bad life can get. I do mourn at times my loss of fun and fansiful thinking but I am happy and content.

It is hard for me to understand why he has got better and why sleep was so important. I hope that I can help any other woman that is going through the devastion of having a depressed husband as it is the hardest and deepest pain you will ever I think experience outside of a death.

God bless